Amortentia and Asphodel Proglogues
by C.Maladroit
Summary: Ever heard of Love Triangles? What about love tetradecagons? This is the intro-teaser to the story Amortenia and Asphodel. While this is a very daft and sappy two chapters, the story to come is very serious and angsty. Warning: Story rated M
1. Prologue, pt 1

**A/N: The first two chapters (prologues) seem daft and funny, but I assure you, the rest of the story gets serious. Prologue just warming up to part of the love tetradecagon.**

I, Ron Weasley, am NOT a stalker. Stalkers are creepy, murderous, and only stalk one person at a time. I FOLLOW. I am not seeking harm on the people I watch, nor do I only follow one person. I follow Draco, Ginny, Hermione, and Neville. And I have good reason to follow them too!

Draco, who wouldn't follow Draco? Who wouldn't follow the tough guy, with his pale face and pointy nose, silky white hair, perfect body, and heavenly voice? I mean, bloody Hell I see him and feel as though someone just gave me polyjuice potion, amortentia, AND asphodel at the same time! No I do not know what asphodel feels like, I am just guessing. No that is not an unpleasant feeling it is a good feeling! Well, a funny feeling… Bloody Hell, I'm hopelessly in love aren't I?

Anyways, reasons to follow Ginny are simple, she is my sister, and I am scared she might be a little frivolous, so I need to keep an eye on her. Just the other day, at Hogsmeade, she met a boy visiting from Durmstrang and within five minutes was moaning in a broom closet!

As for Neville and Hermione, here, let me show you.

**_Ron put his wand to his head, and after extracting a silver fluid-like strand, placed it in the pensieve-_**

Oh, don't ask where I got a pensieve! Just get in!

~x~

Okay, see we are outside this empty classroom on the fourth floor. This was three days ago, by the way. Look! There is the slime ball Neville going into the room with Hermione. Okay there I am. I stole Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Do not look at me like that! He won't know even know it is gone! He is gone with Dumbledore on a mission of some sorts… Anyway, moving on… Bloody Hell my nose isn't THAT big is it? The pensieve must elongate things… Sorry, like I was saying, now where did I go? Oh yeah I put the cloak on and am trying to enter the room. _Trying _being the operative word…

**_"Colloportus" Hermione says through the door._**

**_"Bloody Hell!" Ron says, taking the cloak off and putting his ear to the door._**

**_"Hermione," Neville's voice says, "why did you lock the door?"_**

**_"I do not know. I just felt as though we were being followed. Anyways, you said you wanted to talk to me privately about something?_**

**_"Yes…" Neville stammers, "Well… We have been friends for four years right?"_**

**_"Well we have been good friends since second year, so that's about right. Why do you ask?"_**

**_Ron, who is still outside the door, is whispering to himself. "How romantic! He is going to confess his love to her!"_**

**_"Well," Neville continues, "I kind of have strong feelings for someone and need to let someone else know them before I explode. _**

**_Ron continues his rant "How touching is this. Bloody Hell, and to think I am semi-witnessing this moment where two wallflowers bloom into beautiful roses in a garden of love!_**

What? It was a spur of the moment thought! Blimey. Jump down a boy's throat for being a little romantic. The point is, you need to keep listening!

**_"Just tell me, Neville, what's the worst that could happen? I promise I won't tell a soul!"_**

**_"Here it goes then. I-I l-like… Well I-I sort of like-"_**

**_Ron is still blubbering about romance he hears the last name of the crushee_**

**_"-Weasley."_**

**_Ron backs up in pure horror. "What! How stupid could I be! I was too busy internally narrating that I did not hear the first name‼! Wait! OF COURSE IT IS GINNY WHO WELSE WOULD IT BE! I ONLY HAVE ONE SISTER! Shit I need to be quiet." He quiets down to a whisper and puts his ear back to the door. "I need to listen more."_**

**_Hermione giggles. "Well well, what a coincidence. I like a Weasley as well."_**

**_Neville gasps "You don't mean-"_**

**_"Yes. Oh come on! It is hard not to fall in love with someone you see on a daily basis!"_**

**_"That must be me!" Ron whimpers this statement. "What other Weasley does she see on a daily basis! Why cannot Fred and George still be in school so I can pretend she is talking about them!"_**

**_"I know what you mean." Neville says, sympathetically. "Smelling their scent, seeing their face, those freckles, that red hair, and that body. Don't get me started on that body."_**

**_"That's my sister he's talking about!" Ron whines to himself._**

**_"Oh I agree. Those Weasley's DO have nice bodies. It must be the Quidditch."_**

~x~

So now you know why I follow. I have no choice; first, I need to make sure Draco is okay. I care about him, so need to know where he is all the time, what he is doing, what scum he is talking to, and more importantly, what he thinks of me. As for Ginny, she has become too promiscuous in her teenage years and I need to make sure her decisions don't put her in danger, I mean, bloody Hell, what would I do if she is raped or gets pregnant? Furthermore, I need to find out why she acts the way she does. And I need to follow Neville so I know he doesn't try and take advantage of Ginny and try to use her as his own ginger sex toy. As for Hermione, well I need to make sure she is not making moves on me! You are probably wondering why I followed Neville and Hermione in the first place, but that is not the point; the point is my investigation skills proved that I have reason to follow them.


	2. Prologue, pt 2

"Peeves!" The Bloody Baron called out.

Peeves the Poltergeist appeared out of the Portrait near the Slytherin Common room.

"Yes Baron?" Peeves cackled

"I'm slightly astonished," The Baron said, "tell me, why have you been not yourself lately?"

"I shant say nothing your Baron sir!" Peeves replied with a cackle.

"Peeves!" The Baron had a nasty tone to his voice "You haven't caused any commotion or chaios all month! You dissapear off at random times and yet no harm has been caused to this castle since September. My God, if I didnt' know any better, I would say that you have gone mad!"

Peeves cackled with a smirk, "I said I shant say nothing, not that Peeves shant say why!"

The Bloody Baron's lips went thin, he furrowed his brow and rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what has caused this change in character now?"

Peeves twiddled his ghostly thumbs.

"The story is rather complex, but Peeves shall try his best his Baron-ness! It all started the third day of school.

I was in the fourth floor Charms classroom unscrewing the chandaleer and clapping the erasers on Proffesser Flitwick's favourite black robes, when me thinks I heard footsteps outside. Peeves immediatley hid myself and watched as Granger and Longbottom walked into the room. As Longbottom closed the door, Granger used the Colloportus charm, causing the door to lock. I heard a noise outside to see the youngest Weasley boy eavesdropping. Silly boy. Me's went back to listening to Granger, if she closed the door it must have been nasty gossip.

"Hermione," says Longbottom, "why did you lock the door?"

"I don't know." Granger retorted, " I just felt as though we were being followed. Anyway, you said you wanted to talk to me privately about something?"

This is where it starts getting nasty your Baron-ness.

"Yes," started Longbottom, studdering like a fool, me thinks, "well... we've been friends for four years right?"

"Well we have been good friends since second year, so that's about right." replied Granger, "Why do you ask?"

"Well I kind of have strong feelings for someone and need to let someone else know them before I explode."

Hermione looked at Longbottom and says "Just tell me, Neville, what's the worst that could happen? I promise I won't tell a soul!"

"Here it goes then." Neville starts, "I-I l-like… Well I-I sort of like. R-Ron Weasley." He finished quickly before putting his round hands over his face in shame. Naughty little child. Granger blushed and giggled.

"What a coincidence, I like a Weasley as well..." Granger muttered.

"YOU DON'T MEAN-" Longbottom gasped.

"Yes. Oh come on! It's not hard to fall in love with someone you see on a daily basis!"

"I know, smelling their scent, seeing their face, those freckles, that red hair, and that body. Don't get me started with that body."

"Oh I agree. Those Weasley's DO have nice bodies. It must be the Quidditch."

Me sees Weasley run off with looks of horror across his freckled face.

Longbottom laughed, me's listens some more.

"How funny. You, Hermoine Granger, like Ginny Weasly, and I, Neville Longbottom, like Ronald."

"Neville," Granger says, "are you worried people are going to find out as much as I am worried?"

"Of course. You know how ostracized we will be if anyone finds out we are gay? Not like we can escape that fate though, it's not like either of us have had steady relationships."

"That's exactly what I was thinking." Granger looks as if a candle has lit above her frizzy little head. "What if we hid the fact that you and I are gay by dating each other."

"That's a brilliant idea Hermoine!" Longbottom exclaims, "We should pretend that we are dating. People expect it, no one will ask too many questions. Let's do it! Hermoine, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course I will!" Granger pauses for a while, "Neville, we don't have to... kiss, or hug, or touch do we?"

Longbottom's face looked pale. "Maybe only holding hands for show, and a kiss here or there to stop people from wondering. But that's all."

"Okay, good. So we are dating." Granger said relieved-like.

And the past month I have been following their every move to make sure they keep their word your Baron-ness"

The Bloody Baron stopped and stared blankly.

"You mean to tell me that you have been behaving... Because you have been too busy eavesdropping!"

"Yes. Me thinks I found out something else interesting in my eavesdropping... Something about Potter and Malfoy!"

"Really?" The Baron said, intrigued, "Do tell..."


End file.
